Introducing a new initiative: AA stands for Ashtanga Anonymous. It’s a support group.
Who is AA for?
It’s for people who have more than just a little penchant for Ashtanga yoga.
It’s all they think about.
They eat Ashtanga – but only a little before practice. The Marichyasanas on a full stomach? You only make that mistake once.
They sleep Ashtanga – savasana in pyjamas.
They breathe Ashtanga – well, ujjayi, mainly.
And they drink Ashtanga – two for one on Vita Coco water?! Get in.
AA is for people who, when faced with decisions such as a date with a potential suitor versus a date with a yoga mat, have been known to choose the latter.
It’s for those who’d swap cooking pasta for their husbands with making chapattis for Sharath Jois. It’s for people who would rather eat beans for a week than miss the Sweaty Betty sale.
How do I become a member of AA?
Membership is simple. You make a single payment of £22.
In return, you receive an organic bamboo tshirt and you can join the Facebook page and follow on Twitter.
For your initiation, you introduce yourself to fellow members by taking a photo of you wearing your tshirt and post it on the FB page or via Twitter.
Alongside your photo, you share three pieces of information:
1. Your name
2. How long you’ve had your obsession
3. The extent of your obsession i.e. just how bad have you got it?
Eg. Hello, my name is Maureen. I have been an Ashtanga addict for five years and a yoga addict for ten. I was three hours late to my own wedding because I got stuck in garbha pindasana.*
Your fellow members will not judge you. They will provide support and guidance. Anything you say will be treated in the strictest confidence.
You will be welcomed with open arms. Our scapulas will be drawing together, our trapezius will be sliding down our back body and we’ll be feeling the stretch in our pectorals.
Welcome. You are home. Put the kettle on and make yourself a nice cup of yogi tea.
Join AA today!
Email Clare with the subject heading: ‘I need to join Ashtanga Anonymous’.
Please specify which tshirt size you require. They are currently available in womens small, medium and large.
If Clare does not see you at classes, she can send your tshirt to wherever you are – from Southwark to South Africa, and from St Louis to Sweden. Where addicts are, AA will follow… (postage and packing rates apply).
*Maureen is a fictitious example. Alternatively, you can just buy a tshirt and wear it with pride.